


It’s insignificant

by Fantasmagoria



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 00:32:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9148810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasmagoria/pseuds/Fantasmagoria
Summary: Translation of my fanfiction "To nieistotne". [After TRF] Sherlock wants to come back into John's Watson life but he can't - because John has a lover - the Quartermaster of MI6 named Winston. Of course Mycroft Holmes is in the worst position...THX for pomidor, she translate almost the whole fanfic :*





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Olgie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olgie/gifts), [pomidor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomidor/gifts).
  * A translation of [To nieistotne](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9054709) by [Fantasmagoria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasmagoria/pseuds/Fantasmagoria). 



“Mycroft? Mycroft?! Oh, there you are! Finally…”

“Gregory.”

“What happened? I’ve been looking for you two weeks! I organized a search team...”

“Unnecessarily.”

“... and you know by how much I exceed the budget for this year? In addition Sherlock wants a cosmic amount as assistance in his search! At the beginning I thought he was joking, but after three days I gave up and signed the check.”

“Great job, Gregory. As if I didn’t have enough problems, now you are sponsoring Sherlock’s drugs with my money.”

“Firstly, even if that’s true, it’s the government’s money, and secondly…”

“So, in other words - mine.”

“Secondly, I did it privately, because after paying for the search team the NSY can’t afford Sherlock...”

“You do know that since we are married our bank accounts are connected?”

“... so that I spent everything I saved for the last ten years to find you, you idiot, and…”

“In fact it may be related to the fact that Sherlock hates me even more these days.”

“... and our bank accounts are not connected, I would have noticed if in my audit trail there were nuclear warheads, a thousand Uzi or direct debit of 100 pounds for a chocolate factory and… Wait, you’re saying that Sherlock hates you even more than usual? For Christ’s sake can’t you try to reconcile for a change?

“It’s not my fault! And we do have it. Just like I have my hackers, but that’s irrelevant right now. How could I have know, that right after he came back he would decide that the next perfect sep on the long road to making him an actual human being would be creating a happy family with the good doctor, tell me how? If it had crossed my mind, I would never have allowed his return, or John’s relationship, but now... ” 

“Mhm, Look, I brought tea, drink some. You look a bit pale…”

“... I have not eaten for the last few days, I can’t even look at chocolate biscuits without revulsion. Chocolate biscuits were never the cause of my suffering, until now! And all that because of my family. What was the point? I should have kept all of them locked away in complete isolation and supervise that no contact between them and society was possible…”

“I always wondered where did Sherlock’s specific social phobia come from…”

“And just look now, I’m between a rock and a hard place, between life and death, between a son and a brother, and--”

“Wait, I lost you there. Brother- Sherlock, that I understand. About whose son are you rattling about?”

“You know, that Winston who lives with John, he’s the current Q for MI6.”

“One so young? Amazing. Though I still don’t see the connection.”

“Do try to keep up, Gregory, you’re not a monkey. My son and my brother are rivals in the battle for doctor Watson’s heart and I--”

“Wait, WHAT?!”

“You know I hate repeating myself, Gregory. I told you that--”

“Yes, I know what you said, I heard you. How come your son and Sherlock are competing for John?”

“Just so. For a few months now Winston and Sherlock have been in the state of cold war and it won’t be long till the Berlin Wall falls again.”

“What do you mean ‘again’?”

“Ah, right, forget what I said, we haven’t rebuilt it yet, it’s the plan for next year…”

“You plan to once again isolate eastern Europe from the rest of the world?”

“Gregory, I urge you to delete that information, or else I will have to kill you, and I couldn’t, because I love you, so they will kill us both. Moving on--”

“You have a son.”

“Yes, Winston. Unfortunately, he considers himself hundred percent gay, and the Queen keeps asking about my grandchildren. I’m running out of excuses and she is a lady with a freakishly good memory so I can’t repeat myself. Back to the topic, soon I’ll lose all my hair and I’ll have to buy a wig. Do you realize how horrid I’ll look in a wig?”

“I didn’t know you had a son…”

“That’s insignificant. I also have two new fish in the tank about which you don’t know.”

“I don’t think new fish in your three hundred litre aquarium had any impact on our relationship, as opposed to you having family members, about whom I know nothing!”

“Do you want me to introduce all my cousins from name? It might take some time…”

“Christ, do you want me to hit you? The closest family, Mycroft!”

“Now, now, Gregory, your new position makes you much more aggressive.”

“It’s you and your son that make me aggressive.”

“You don’t even know Winston that well, and--”

“I suppose I don’t know him at all, judging by the fact I had no idea he was your son!”

“Calm down, Gregory, you use such a tone as if the country was in danger because of that.”

“Right now, I feel like I’m posing a danger to you, so it’s not that far from the truth.”

“What’s the point of this anger? It’s not important. The important thing is that one false move, one rash word, and I end up losing my brother or my son, or both. And who will prolong the Holmes line if I’m with you?”

“With who?”

“What ‘with who’? I said I’m with you.”

“No. With who you had a son?”

“Margarett, Maergery, Margo, Margaritte, Madeline… something like that, I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember the women with whom you had a son.”

“It’s insignificant, Gregory. I had to do it, the Queen urged me to. You have to admit that Winston is almost as intelligent as me and --”

“My god, as if two Holmses weren’t enough for England, you had to create a third one…”

“Actually. there are four of us.”

“You have two sons?!”

“No.”

“Please, tell me Sherlock doesn’t have a son.”

“I would never let him reproduce.”

“I wonder, who let you…”

“I told you already, it was the Queen, you’re not keeping up again. And no, there is no more offspring in the family, our brother have simply not left the family home yet.”

“Good God, another one. Considering this family, who is he, the leader of RAF?”

“No, he’s just a simple office worker, an old bachelor and a mammy’s boy. His IQ is below average, we don’t talk about him.”

“Maybe that’s better. At least this one shouldn’t make problems…”

“Are you insinuating something?”

“How could I?”

“Anyway, insignificant. As the more empathic, sensitive and emotional side of this relationship, as you already stubbornly found me, before I managed to deal with the situation on my own, you have to help me.”

“I have to? Can’t I just, I don’t know, change professions and go to space? Stay on Mars?”

“I won’t authorize that. In fact, I know what we will do.”

“I’d grow some potatoes, like Matt Damon and I could live on them for the next few months.”

“Gregory, focus. Life is not a movie and you can’t even care for a cactus. From this day on the new top priority of Scotland Yard and the British intelligence is, of course, finding James Bond, known as agent 007.”

“Mycroft, you know how I hate interrupting the creation of your mad plans, but according to all information, James Bond is dead.”

“And you would know. Sherlock was dead too, and what? Did I find him? I found him.”

“Point taken, you’re a brilliant seeker, my wonderful genious.”

“Of course I am. Give me that tea. We’re launching operation Marriage, or how to save England from self-destruction.”

“You mean the Holmes line.”

“Same thing. I’d fancy a chocolate biscuit.”

“I happen to have one, you want it?”

“I knew you’re the sense of my existence. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Don’t disappear again, okay? I promise you, I can take anything, just don’t run from me again.”

“Fine. Do you have more of those biscuits?”


End file.
